Frank Greenall: Our Quaint Eternal Quest for Kiwi Exceptionalism

Most – if not all – countries do it. The Yanks used to unabashedly talk about “American Exceptionalism”, with its sub-categories of “American Know-How” and “American Can-Do”. In the same way, Kiwis talk about our jaunty “No. 8 Wire” fix-anything attributes.

Dig deep enough, too, into any country’s folk idioms and you’re sure to find some sort of variation on “God’s Own Country” – even if it’s some miniscule arid and war-torn corner of the globe. And no, Kiwi “King Dick” Seddon – our longest-serving PM – didn’t invent the phrase, even though he liked to use it.

Small Country, Big Attitude

I suppose it comes with the territory – particularly if your territory is pretty small. Like ours. Just a couple of skinny islands – plus a few kling-ons – patched on the arse end of the Pacific. The Antipodes. Although technically, the UK, say, is every bit an Antipodes too, depending on where you’re standing. Antipodes just means ‘opposite’ to where you are.

But I digress. As with many undersized things, there’s an innate tendency to talk yourself up even more. The ‘Little Man’ syndrome. Think Piggy Muldoon.

The Golden Years: When We Actually Were Exceptional

To be sure, at various times we’ve had good reason to talk ourselves up. In days of yore we led the world in all manner of categories. Prestige categories. Important categories. Categories that had to do with Biggies, like Quality of Life. Living Standards. Relative Equality. Full Employment. Swimmable Rivers & Ocean Waters. Relatively Crime-Free streets. Supportive Welfare for the few who needed it. All that sort of stuff. It was the not-so-old Egalitarian Dream nearly come true.

The story goes that then prime minister Michael J Savage and his first Labour government’s policies embodied social security “from the cradle to the grave”. “From the womb to the tomb”, reiterated his staunch Presbyterian finance minister, Walter Nash. “From erection to resurrection”, sallied maverick John A Lee.

The Fall from Grace

That was never quite the case, of course. But whatever laurels we once wore, alas, are now sorry tatters. Where once we sported the world’s tiara for all those prestige categories, now we mirror our location in the Pacific – floundering on the arse end of a whole bunch of the worst sorts of stats going. Nasty categories, like domestic violence, untreated mental dysfunctionality, youth suicide, inequality, sky-high youth unemployment, over-valued property prices reflected in soaring rents, tanking literacy and numeracy levels, freshwater and riparian pollution, land erosion, for OECD countries near-highest rates of incarceration and violent and sexual crime convictions.

And on it goes. Where once we ruled, we’re now the cellar dwellers. Hard to believe we abdicated our lofty perch so spectacularly, and we now have a veritable Exodus of the dispirited, disenchanted and disenfranchised.

The Squandered Birthright

To be sure, overall, we still rank as a pretty desirable place to live. But that’s because we started from a very high bar, afforded by our abundance of natural assets. The New Zealand Tragedy is the extent to which we’ve squandered – and continue to squander – our birthright. This high-bar starting-point – together with the progressive and inclusive social and political policies – should have seen us become an exemplar for the whole planet on how things could be done. Instead, now we’re a casebook ‘How Not To”.

Of course, the challenge now is, what do we do about it? Big challenge. Some other time, as space permits, I’ll throw in my tuppence worth. But in the meantime, we’ve had to find new areas to talk ourselves up – or at least go back to some age-old standbys, like sport.

Sport: Our Last Resort for Pride

The All Blacks used to be up there for bragging rights. Err… say no more on that one for the meantime. The yachtie boys were good for a while – red socks and all that. We’ve still got the Auld Mug, but now it’s all so corporatised no one no longer knows just what exactly the Kiwi element is these days, especially when the regatta takes place in oceans afar.

Perhaps it’s like the rugger. We’ve created a new export industry whereby we ship our home-grown talent and coaching expertise offshore for opponents’ benefit in a perfect lose-lose piece of strategy.

Left with the Scraps

So back home, we’re left with the scraps. The Black Ferns got the big talk-up for a while as this year’s women’s World Cup rolled around. We learnt all about their family histories and how a niggly hammie could sabotage someone’s lifetime dream. But then they got dropped like a hot potato when the Canuks barrelled them.

Naturally whatever faint hopes the Warriors had for a spot of glory went west as per usual. So we were left with the likes of the just-finished World Athletic Championships. But trouble is, no one seems to know what credence to put on such events these days. A bit like the supposed second-tier (or was it the third or fourth tier..?) French rugby side that was sent out here earlier this year, now a good chunk of the top-liners seem always to be ‘saving themselves’ for some other upcoming event deemed to be even more important – or lucrative!

The Athletics Success Story (With Perspective)

But we did indeed have Kiwis at the world champs, and to the squad’s credit, they did bloody well. Would you believe we out-medalled the likes of the UK and Aussie. Not to be sniffed at. George Beamish took out the 3000m steeplechase and Hamish Kerr aced the high jump. Two gold medals, plus a bronze in the women’s shot.

Naturally, the spotlight deservedly swung onto the two gold medal boys. But – not to be a wet blanket – could their respective successes have had something to do with a bit of a downturn in recent athletic standards?

For instance, Hamish Kerr’s winning height using the now ubiquitous Fosbury Flop was just a centimetre more than that of the last world record to be set using the old ‘straddle’ technique nearly half a century ago. Similarly, if George had been racing in the same race the last time a world 3000m steeplechase record was set, he would have just been entering the back straight on the last lap as the winner was crossing the finish line 300 or so metres ahead of him.

Big ups to them nonetheless, but a sense of perspective is also required. If one was getting their sports news only through the sports segments of the two mainstream TV channels, you could have been excused for thinking no other events whatsoever – with the possible exception of the women’s shot – had taken place at this supposed climax of the world athletics year.

The Endless Quest Continues

Yet only so much national Exceptionalism can be squeezed out of even world champ gold medals, and so our abiding quest to continue to convince ourselves that we are still indeed Special quickly moved on.

Now let’s see what else was out there..? Oh yes, Liam Lawson got a fifth place in the Azerbaijan Grand Prix, and.. and.. yes..! A stamp with a depiction of an upside-down Lake Taupo sold for a record $260K at auction. Who says we’re still not Exceptional..!

Frank Greenall has been a copywriter, scriptwriter, artist, political cartoonist, adult literacy tutor and administrator, and Whanganui Chronicle columnist for many years, amongst numerous other sundry occupations. His cartoons and articles have appeared in most major NZ newspapers at various times. He has a BA in politics and a Masters in adult literacy/numeracy.   https://stevebaron.co.nz/author/frankgreenall/